While a part of me hopes they are not going to extract a 20 pound polyp via my vagina, another part of me hopes that it weighs 20 pounds. Then that would mean that I’m not really overweight – it’s the polyp.
But I have a sinking feeling that’s not the case. Too many gravy biscuits from Bojangles in my recent past. They were easy to add on, but won’t be so easy to take off – unlike the polyp. The gynecological equivalent of a weed whacker and it’s out.
My surgeon seems delighted to get to do this procedure. It’s apparently one of his favorites. While I don’t share his enthusiasm, I’ll be knocked out so that part is delightful.
Apparently the only real risk is that he might puncture my uterus if my cervix isn’t dilated enough. To insure that my cervix cooperates, I have to take (not orally) a pill the night before that is sort of a cervical tranquilizer. This whole thing just keeps getting better and better, doesn’t it?
Having just gotten the call an hour ago about what it will cost me out of pocket, I could use a tranquilizer about now. Maybe we could trim the cost by hitting me over the head with a rock instead of using an anesthesiologist. We could have the procedure done in my real estate office and save the cost of the surgical center.
The Senate is looking for ways to cut health care costs. Maybe I should offer my suggestions.
But I have a sinking feeling that’s not the case. Too many gravy biscuits from Bojangles in my recent past. They were easy to add on, but won’t be so easy to take off – unlike the polyp. The gynecological equivalent of a weed whacker and it’s out.
My surgeon seems delighted to get to do this procedure. It’s apparently one of his favorites. While I don’t share his enthusiasm, I’ll be knocked out so that part is delightful.
Apparently the only real risk is that he might puncture my uterus if my cervix isn’t dilated enough. To insure that my cervix cooperates, I have to take (not orally) a pill the night before that is sort of a cervical tranquilizer. This whole thing just keeps getting better and better, doesn’t it?
Having just gotten the call an hour ago about what it will cost me out of pocket, I could use a tranquilizer about now. Maybe we could trim the cost by hitting me over the head with a rock instead of using an anesthesiologist. We could have the procedure done in my real estate office and save the cost of the surgical center.
The Senate is looking for ways to cut health care costs. Maybe I should offer my suggestions.
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