Monday, April 19, 2010

You Know You’re Old and Boring When Even Thieves Don’t Want Your Stuff


Okay, first of all, I’m an idiot. I forgot to lock my car and we park on the street, so that was dumb. But it’s embarrassing to realize your car was ransacked and the would-be thief didn’t want your stuff.

Maybe the thief shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up to begin with when he approached a 7 year old Honda Accord. Right off the bat he should have realized it was not owned by someone too hip or affluent.

I’m sure he was really disappointed to see that the collection of CDs in the console included things like the soundtrack from “Singing In the Rain”, big band music, TV theme songs from the ‘50’s and ‘60’s, and listing presentation training. He left them all.

He took my umbrella out of the sleeve and must have decided it was too ugly to be seen with because he left that too. Or else he just doesn’t like the Eiffel Tower motif.

The “jackpot” was in the trunk. He left the trash picker upper but took what looked to be a large duffel bag. I’m sure he thought it had good fitness stuff like expensive sneakers or an iPod. Instead it was my Emergency Rescue bag, with things like a hard hat, rubber gloves, yellow tape, and first aid supplies. He stole it, then left it a block down the street in what I can only assume was disgust and disappointment.

He didn’t even take my bag of jar openers. That seems extremely short sighted on his part because a jar opener would be a good thing to use so as not to leave fingerprints.

I know I should be relieved that there was no loss, but I can’t help but feel that’s the final nail in the coffin of confirming just how dull I’ve become