Wednesday, December 1, 2010

How Did This Happen?

I have a major birthday coming up this month. One of those ones with a 0 in it. While I’m actually quite happy with my life, this represents a really huge number that carries with it all kinds of mental images that are disturbing.

My own mother, who was thrown by nothing, felt intimidated by this number. She told everyone she was XXXty-one instead, feeling that it was less a big deal than the actual number with the 0.

I used to work with people younger than I was and that was okay. Now I find that I’m often older than my co-workers’ PARENTS! That’s OLD!!!

What is really disturbing is the tendency to say things I never thought I’d hear myself say. Like, “How can they call that music?” Or, “I can’t believe anyone would go out in public dressed like that.” Or even worse, “I remember when we used to………”

My body makes sound effects that are not good. My shape is the result of bad habits and gravity and it’s beginning to appear to be a permanent condition. My family says I’m going deaf but I insist the problem is that they mumble. I know the difference in generic and name brand stool softeners!

Those “early bird specials” for dinner make a lot more sense than I expected them to, and if it weren’t for having a DVR I’d miss most everything that is on TV in prime time.

Getting a tan has been replaced by planting a garden. Shopping for the latest fashion has been replaced by regular trips to Home Depot for bedding plants. The vanity that used to compel me to go to the grocery store in full makeup has gone away (somewhat) and I have been known go out some days with my bare face.

Thanks to the magic of Facebook I can stay in touch with friends from high school without having to go back for the humiliating reunions. They only know what I look like through the photos of me I CHOOSE to post or allow to be tagged. (Okay, so not all the vanity is gone.)

One of the advantages of being XXXty is that no one expects you to change any more. They figure this is as good as you are going to get so there is much less nagging (except by grown children who think it’s their turn).

I’m grateful for the life I have and the one I’ve had and the one I’m going to have in the future. I’ve lost friends younger than I am so I don’t take life for granted. I’m a lot more accepting of myself and others than I once was.

But XXXty? Seriously? Me? I still don’t believe it!