If you look back at the traditions of professional football, the players you remember are always the aggressive, take-no-prisoners types. The kind that got up after a play with blood on their jerseys and grass coming out of their helmets.
With men, the starch goes out of them in their 30’s and you rarely see an NFL player above 40. With women it’s just the opposite. When my hormones left a few years back, so did my self control and the ability to hold my temper. So the ideal fit for the NFL would be a women in the throes of menopause.
We’re already used to sweating buckets so that’s not a problem. We’ve dealt with our kids’ and even grandkids’ bloody noses and cuts so the sight of blood won’t disturb us. And you want aggressive? Nobody knows aggressive any better than a woman missing her estrogen.
It’s a wonder more of us aren’t arrested for manslaughter. It doesn’t take a whole lot to get under our skin. Hog the TV remote and see how fast we can make a tackle. Take our parking place and we’ll ram your butt into the middle of next week.
I’ll admit penalties might be an issue. Some women have a history of hair pulling and we’re trained to go after vulnerable areas. But if you had women on both teams the personal fouls would probably offset each side.
So until the American Medical Association takes a stand and says once and for all that hormone replacement therapy is safe, “Put me in, Coach! I’m ready to play!”
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